Posts Tagged ‘pornography’

Q & A — Part Two

Posted: August 11, 2009 in canada, comedy, Daily Life, Daily Living, disability, ontario, ottawa, personal, Uncategorized, writing
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Last night, I did Laundry and helped my Wife with Grocery Shopping. I like to push the Cart around & then I carry her bags home. Yes, even disabled people can help able bodied people. I put the handy in Handicapped. Alot of people look at me and seem amused that I can push a Cart with my feet & legs.
I’ve got mad skills.

Tonight, we’re gonna watch America’s Got Talent.

After I did my post yesterday, I thought of more questions for the Q & A, so here’s some more.

What’s your favorite food?

BS Answer: I eat power pellets like Pacman.

Truth: I have a hard time chewing food, so I usually drink Ensure & Isosource. Basically, they’re meals in a can, or as I call it, shit in a can. When I was younger, I used to eat pureed Hospital food. If you’ve ever seen or had Pureed Green Peas, you know why I choose to eat from a can now.

Occasionally, I enjoy eating soft foods like Ice Cream, Yogurt, Popsicles, Gelato, Chocolate anything, Creme Brulee, Cake, Pancakes, etc etc etc

What TV shows do you watch?

BS Answer: Informercials! Lots & lots of Infomercials!

Truth: I’m a big fan of Family Guy, The Simpsons, & South Park. I also watch CSI, CSI: New York, Law & Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, Big Bang Theory, Two & A Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, WWE Monday Night Raw, WWE Friday Night Smackdown, & many others.

What Music do you listen to?

BS Answer: I LOVE Elevator Music & sometimes I dance to the beats of people farting.

Truth: I like different types of Music. It depends on my mood. Mostly, I’m a Rock guy, but sometimes I listen to Blues or Jazz. One of my guilty pleasures is watching Music Videos from the 80s on my TV. It’s cheesy as hell, but HILARIOUS, and brings back memories.

What kind of Movies do you like?

BS Answer: Porn! I’m a huge Perv for Porn. I’m Pervy for Porn, baby!

Truth: I’m a big fan of Comedies. I have so many favorite Movies that it’s not even funny.

Do you drink and/or do drugs?

BS Answer: Well I snort two lines of Metamucil every day. That’s why I’m such a happy person now.

Truth: While I enjoy the odd Beer or Wine, my drinking days are behind me. As for Drugs, yeah I’ve done Drugs in the past, but that’s behind me too. Basically, I managed to quit both cold turkey, which was really tough to do.

When’s your Birthday?

BS Answer: I don’t really have one because I was made in a Factory.

Truth: January 4th.

What’s your opinion of the Internet & Social Networking?

BS Answer: If I can get free Porn, bring it on!

Truth: I LOVE the Internet & Social Networking. It gives disabled people a bigger & better chance to be seen & heard. I don’t always understand how certain sites or things work, but I have a big online pressence, and I plan on expanding that, as much as I can.

What’s the story, morning glory?

BS Answer: A stupid name for a CD.

Truth: How the hell would I know? Ask Oasis & let me know what Noel said after he punches you.

What’s your goal in life?

BS Answer: I want to solve World Hunger.

Truth: This is gonna sound selfish, but I want to be famous Worldwide. I don’t care if it’s a Movie, a Talk Show, a TV show cameo, or a Commercial, I want to be famous. I was actually in a Movie/Interactive DVD Video Game a few years ago, which was pretty fun. The “set” was right near where I live. I played a bad guy, which was the main reason why I signed up for it. Sadly, I don’t think it ever got released.

Besides that, I’d love to live in a Wheelchair Accessible House with my Wife. It’d probably be a two bedroom. Of course, the Basement would be like Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, or close to it.

What’s the meaning of life?

BS Answer: Well, Life is a Cereal apparently, so it’s tasty.

Truth: Life’s too short to even consider that. Life is what YOU want it to be. Have fun, gamble, drink, do drugs, work, sleep, be rich, be poor. Whatever your life consists of, enjoy it, and have fun. It’s a big plus if you can make a difference in a someone’s life, but you don’t HAVE to. As long as you’re enjoying it, nobody gets hurts, & you’re not doing too many illegal things, that’s what life should mean.

That’s it for now, I’m all tapped out.
I’ll be back tomorrow with a recap of America’s Got Talent.

Thanks for reading.

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As I write this, I’m silently wishing that I had enough strength to bang my head against a wall.
Just for half a minute please!

I guess the other option would be to have someone toss a brick into my face.
Wouldn’t that be fun to watch, kids?

So, last night, I stayed home and caught up on shows on The Movie Network/HBO Canada or whatever they call it now. Then, I watched Pineapple Express. For some reason, I referred to it as Polar Express, but it’s slightly different.

Polar Express is about a Train and it’s a kids cartoon with Tom Hanks.
Pineapple Express is about two Potheads running from bad guys, but it’s not for kids.

Long story short…
Don’t do drugs!
I never believed that theory myself.

While I watched the movie, I was tweetering with some people, which was fun.

Here’s another childhood memory.
I remember becoming a Teenager while I was living in the Hospital. Like most normal Teenaged boys, I liked Porn. Every Saturday night, a show called Bleu Nuit would come on the French TV Channel.

Basically, it was a TV show that aired Softcore Porn Movies or shows. When you’re 13 and before Web times, this was a pretty big deal for me. Obviously, this was WAY past my usual bedtime, so every Saturday Night, I’d come up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t sleep. My usual one was that I’m too excited to sleep. Little did they know how honest that excuse was.

I remember one time, I had a mean Nurse or I pissed her off. She made me go to bed early. Luckily, I had a roommate at the time and he agreed to turn my TV on when the show came on. Sure enough, he came over to my bed & turned my TV on.

Our fun only lasted about 20-30 minutes because the Nurse was making the rounds. He managed to shut the TV off and quietly push it back right before she got to our room.

I think I got caught a few times, but I never got punished for it.
What were they gonna do, kick me out?
I kinda wish they had.

Thanks for reading.

After three days of nice weather, rain’s set to return for a few days.

I went to the Doctor’s today. I always feel kinda awkward in Waiting Rooms. Surrounded by sick people, plus Doctors etc. So far, I haven’t had Swine Flu, so thumbs up to that at least.

As usual, the waiting lasted longer than my actual appointment. It has always drove me nuts making appointments. I never get to see Doctors or anyone like that at the specific time.

So why even set times anymore?
You should be able to call up & say that you want to see the Doctor on a certain day or evening. Not enough Doctors work at Night or Weekends, by the way, at least in my personal experience. More Doctors should work Weekends or Evenings. It’d be MUCH easier for people with jobs then. While you’re at it, do the same for Banks too.
I don’t trust online Banking.
You shouldn’t be doing Personal Financial stuff the same way that you use to look at Porn.
Not that I look at Porn.
I’m married, & married men don’t need porn, right?

*coughs*

Anyways, there’s my 2 cents worth.

Alright, moving on…
Now that the rain’s upon us, I’ll probably stay home tonight and relax. I’m hoping that my Wife will want to watch another episode of America’s Got Talent that I recorded over the past few weeks. That’s a pretty fun show actually. The early shows in the season remind me of The Gong Show.

Besides that, I have no other plans for tonight.

Thanks for reading.

First of all, thanks to everyone who read my last post. It’s good to see interest in the topic. I wish I got more feedback, but beggers can’t be choosers. I even showed my Wife and she seemed to like it. She said that I could’ve/should’ve discussed what happened on Sunday, but I’m sticking to my guns. It’s nice to know that she supports my writing and all that stuff.

Anyways, what should I discuss? I’m almost tempted to discuss more about sex. Ah, what the hell, one more post (for now) about sex wouldn’t hurt.

I’m an extremely openminded person. I’m a fan of learning, but it has to be about something that I like. Sex happens to fall under that category. One of the things that I enjoy doing online is reading about different Fetishes and sex related stuff. Call me odd, but I find it intriguing.

As far as my Fetishes go, I’ll name just a few.

Female legs, Nylons, Stockings, Sports Bras, and there’s more, but I’m not posting them here.

As I mentioned earlier, I’m a pretty openminded person. Here’s a little fact about me. I once had a naked picture of myself posted on a porn site specializing in disabled people. The only reason that I asked them to take it down is because I had a ton of gay guys emailing me. It isn’t exactly what I had hoped for, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t regret doing that. It was fun and I’m one of the few disabled people that can honestly say that they were involved in porn.

I even tried writing Erotica for a short time, but it was hard, literally.

Like a lot of guys, I enjoy watching porn, but not that much. Watching women with fake breasts bouncing on an 8 inch pogo stick gets boring after awhile. I prefer natural porn. Oh hell, I prefer the real thing. I still have hopes of one day being in a porn movie. To me, that’d be pretty hot and it would further show people that disabled people are just like you.

I’m not sure what else to say. I’d love to get some feedback from people reading this and get some thoughts about the topic. For those wishing to do it privately, I’ve added my email address on the top right area of this page.

Thanks for reading.