Posts Tagged ‘big bang theory’

Q & A — Part Two

Posted: August 11, 2009 in canada, comedy, Daily Life, Daily Living, disability, ontario, ottawa, personal, Uncategorized, writing
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Last night, I did Laundry and helped my Wife with Grocery Shopping. I like to push the Cart around & then I carry her bags home. Yes, even disabled people can help able bodied people. I put the handy in Handicapped. Alot of people look at me and seem amused that I can push a Cart with my feet & legs.
I’ve got mad skills.

Tonight, we’re gonna watch America’s Got Talent.

After I did my post yesterday, I thought of more questions for the Q & A, so here’s some more.

What’s your favorite food?

BS Answer: I eat power pellets like Pacman.

Truth: I have a hard time chewing food, so I usually drink Ensure & Isosource. Basically, they’re meals in a can, or as I call it, shit in a can. When I was younger, I used to eat pureed Hospital food. If you’ve ever seen or had Pureed Green Peas, you know why I choose to eat from a can now.

Occasionally, I enjoy eating soft foods like Ice Cream, Yogurt, Popsicles, Gelato, Chocolate anything, Creme Brulee, Cake, Pancakes, etc etc etc

What TV shows do you watch?

BS Answer: Informercials! Lots & lots of Infomercials!

Truth: I’m a big fan of Family Guy, The Simpsons, & South Park. I also watch CSI, CSI: New York, Law & Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, Big Bang Theory, Two & A Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, WWE Monday Night Raw, WWE Friday Night Smackdown, & many others.

What Music do you listen to?

BS Answer: I LOVE Elevator Music & sometimes I dance to the beats of people farting.

Truth: I like different types of Music. It depends on my mood. Mostly, I’m a Rock guy, but sometimes I listen to Blues or Jazz. One of my guilty pleasures is watching Music Videos from the 80s on my TV. It’s cheesy as hell, but HILARIOUS, and brings back memories.

What kind of Movies do you like?

BS Answer: Porn! I’m a huge Perv for Porn. I’m Pervy for Porn, baby!

Truth: I’m a big fan of Comedies. I have so many favorite Movies that it’s not even funny.

Do you drink and/or do drugs?

BS Answer: Well I snort two lines of Metamucil every day. That’s why I’m such a happy person now.

Truth: While I enjoy the odd Beer or Wine, my drinking days are behind me. As for Drugs, yeah I’ve done Drugs in the past, but that’s behind me too. Basically, I managed to quit both cold turkey, which was really tough to do.

When’s your Birthday?

BS Answer: I don’t really have one because I was made in a Factory.

Truth: January 4th.

What’s your opinion of the Internet & Social Networking?

BS Answer: If I can get free Porn, bring it on!

Truth: I LOVE the Internet & Social Networking. It gives disabled people a bigger & better chance to be seen & heard. I don’t always understand how certain sites or things work, but I have a big online pressence, and I plan on expanding that, as much as I can.

What’s the story, morning glory?

BS Answer: A stupid name for a CD.

Truth: How the hell would I know? Ask Oasis & let me know what Noel said after he punches you.

What’s your goal in life?

BS Answer: I want to solve World Hunger.

Truth: This is gonna sound selfish, but I want to be famous Worldwide. I don’t care if it’s a Movie, a Talk Show, a TV show cameo, or a Commercial, I want to be famous. I was actually in a Movie/Interactive DVD Video Game a few years ago, which was pretty fun. The “set” was right near where I live. I played a bad guy, which was the main reason why I signed up for it. Sadly, I don’t think it ever got released.

Besides that, I’d love to live in a Wheelchair Accessible House with my Wife. It’d probably be a two bedroom. Of course, the Basement would be like Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, or close to it.

What’s the meaning of life?

BS Answer: Well, Life is a Cereal apparently, so it’s tasty.

Truth: Life’s too short to even consider that. Life is what YOU want it to be. Have fun, gamble, drink, do drugs, work, sleep, be rich, be poor. Whatever your life consists of, enjoy it, and have fun. It’s a big plus if you can make a difference in a someone’s life, but you don’t HAVE to. As long as you’re enjoying it, nobody gets hurts, & you’re not doing too many illegal things, that’s what life should mean.

That’s it for now, I’m all tapped out.
I’ll be back tomorrow with a recap of America’s Got Talent.

Thanks for reading.

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Last night was quiet & relaxing. I spent the night watching shows that I’ve taped over the past few weeks. Those shows included Corner Gas, Two And A Half Men, Big Bang Theory, House, ER, CSI, My Name Is Earl, The Office, 30 Rock.

As you can see, I was pretty entertained while The Oscars were on. I was glad to hear that Heath Ledger won, but not totally shocked. After all, his Family was there from Australia. It would’ve been awkward if they gave the Award to someone else. If I was watching it, I might’ve laughed. Just because I’m evil and I like when unexpected things happen on live TV.

Besides that, not much is new. I’m giving myself one more week before I start going out and doing stuff again.

Yes, I’m still continuing to feel better, but I want to be sure that I’m fully recovered before I start living my life again.

Well, thanks for reading.

Hello Blog Fans

I don’t really feel like talking about current events in my world today. I just feel like rambling. It’s more fun for me, so please bear with me.

Today, I want to talk a bit about what it’s like to be me at times. To me, I can be extremely indecisive and bore easily. For the most part, I’m happy with my life. I have a lovely wife who supports me and loves me very much. I live on my own, which in itself is pretty good considering the severity of my disability. I’m also a Comedian as well.

Ah yes, Comedy.

With each passing month, I find myself less motivated to perform. It’s not because I don’t like performing. Trust me, I like that aspect, and it’s the main reason why I keep returning. The thing that I hate about it more than anything is the politics. Believe it or not, it does exist.

I know that I’m not the funniest person in Ottawa, but some nights, I’m ONE of the funniest there. I’m not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but it does to me. The thing that annoys me are the barriers.

In the past, I’ve explained to great lengths about the fact that I can’t physically get on stage and sometimes the mic isn’t adjusted right. To better illustrate my feelings, I’ll use a visual instead.

The stage is elevated and there’s a big brown brick wall. Every time I go on there, the brick wall’s behind me, but it feels like it’s in front of me. It’s a grim description, but that’s honestly how I feel. I’m known as a person that constantly break down barriers, not only for myself, but others as well. That’s something that I love to do and I take great pride in that. In order for me to do that, I need support and reassurance from my peers and my boss, but it’s simply not there.

I have friends from the National Comedy scene, not local. When those people come to Ottawa, I go see them perform, sometimes as a guest and we sometimes hang out after the show. To me, that’s awesome and it’s another reason that I keep performing. For a little while, I’m seen as someone in the business, despite the barriers that I face and my situation. It’s called respect. I don’t care if it only lasts briefly. I’m just happy that it’s there to begin with. It’s a shame that I don’t get it in my home club, but beggers can’t be choosers.

It is my belief that most of the local Comedians don’t respect me. Hell, most of the time they speak to my Wife or Attendant. Sure, that has to do with the fact that the bar’s noisy, but at least try. I perform six minutes by myself and it’s clear as day that I have a voice and a brain. If Comedians from different parts of Canada can figure this out, why can’t locals do that? Hell, one National guy even incorporated me in his set. Yes, that was and still is a big honour to me that he did that.

The problem lies within the perception of Disabled people. Certain people feel awkward towards us. That will probably never change, no matter what I or any other 4 wheeled creature does. I’m sure even Stephan Hawking deals with that, even though he’s literally famous for explaining the world and how it got started.

I’m running short on time, so I gotta wrap this up. This post wasn’t meant as a pity parade or anything like that. I just simply felt the need to ramble.