First of all, I’d like to wish all of the Canadians a Happy Canada Day.

So, with today being Canada Day, I figured that I’d share some of my favorite memories of Canada Day.

Let’s start when I was a Kid.

As most of you know, I lived at the Childrens Hospital Of Eastern Ontario. Some of you also know that I spent the first six years in ICU.
At the time, ICU didn’t have any windows, so I wasn’t able to see Fireworks until I was at least six years old.

It was a big event for me.
Not only would I get to see Fireworks, but I also got to stay up late too.

I watched the show on CBC before they started, and suddenly I heard BOOM!
I started crying because I had no idea they’d be so loud.
I went to one of the big windows to watch it with the other kids.
After awhile, I calmed down, and thought they were beautiful.

A few Years later, or something is when my next story takes place.

One Year, my Mom took me to my Dad’s Office to watch the Fireworks.
We had a great view because he worked downtown.
At some point, I had to pee.
Normally, when I pee, I just whip it out and piss into a small Urinal that sits between my legs. Sexy eh?
As it turned out, my Mom forgot to pack it.
We couldn’t find any Cups or jugs that would work, so I ended up peeing into a Rubber Glove.

As if it wasn’t embarassing enough having my Mom help me pee, she also had to hold a Rubber Glove to my Crotch while I peed.

Luckily, everything worked out, and we enjoyed the Fireworks.

So, my next favorite one happened about six years ago.
I had just started talking to my now Wife, and had recently met.
She wasn’t able to be here for Canada Day that year, so I decided to one last hurrah.

I headed to a Bar in the Market, which had turned its Parking Lot into a huge Bar, complete with a Stage.
Lucky for me, the Stage had a ramp.
After a few Beers, I decided that I needed to get on the Stage. So, I started going up the ramp.
Well I tried to, at least.

I got stuck halfway up because the ramp was really steep.
I asked my Attendant to help me up.
We tried again, but something else happened.

My leg had fallen off the side of my Chair. Whenever we tried going up the ramp, my foot kept getting sandwiched between the ramp, and my Chair.
I started yelling, but my Attendant couldn’t hear me.
Eventually, we made it up on Stage, and I started dancing on Stage.
At that point, all was fine, until I went pee.

The Bar had set up Port-O-Potties, but I couldn’t fit inside. I peed outside, which was understood, but my Attendant decided to do the same.
He got caught, and they kicked us both out.
As for my leg, I woke up the next day to it being black & blue.
I thought I broke it, but luckily I didn’t.

My next & last memory that I’ll share here happened a few years ago.
My Wife & I were near Parliament Hill watching the Fireworks.
Suddenly, the Battery for my Ventilator started beeping just as the Fireworks began.

So picture this…

Most people had started running down the Street towards the Fireworks.
We were running away from them, and for some reason, screaming and yelling.
People were looking at us like we had done Acid and thought we were being attacked.

We made it home safe & sound.

So as you can see, I’ve had some crazy times on Canada Day. No matter what, I always make it a point of seeing the Fireworks.

I guess in a way, it reminds me of the first time I saw them.

All those Years ago, back in the Hospital.

Happy Canada Day!

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