I’ve been with my Wife for about 4 years now, which is by far the longest that I’ve been with someone.

Certain things happen or come up that make me wonder how women function.

Some of you probably remember the Seinfeld episodes where George is engaged to a woman. Her name escapes me right now. One of the scenes that always sticks out in my mind is where George is telling Jerry about how she’s killing independent George. It’s a classic Seinfeld moment, but I never thought that I’d relate to.

I’m about to mention something that most guys can probably understand.

Going shopping with your sig other.

I really don’t understand the allure for women, unless it’s some type of torture test.

On Friday night, I picked up my Wife from work and headed downtown for a few hours. Everything was going well and we even stopped somewhere for dinner.

I kinda had this false hope that despite the fact that we’re near a mall, there’d be no shopping or window shopping involved. Right now, a lot of you are probably thinking that I’m an idiot.

Yes, yes I am.

Literally moments after entering the mall, she says to me, Ryan, I want to go look at bras. In my head, I’m thinking this is awesome and we finally have something in common and a common goal.

I quickly realized where I was and where she was taking me. I walked in behind her and I’m surrounded by bras. Bras on CLOTHING racks, bras on hangers, and bras on headless mannequins. Not exactly the same visual that I had before entering the store.

She decides that she wants to try one on. Again, what’s going on in my head isn’t what was about to happen in reality. I’m thinking that I’d go in and watch her try it on and give her the thumbs up.

Wrong

The changeroom was right next to a cashier, so no thumbs up or anything else up for me. Before she enters, she said oh I might be 5-10 minutes in there.

Uh huh

Ten-Fifteen minutes later, she exits and says no. During that time, I’m driving around the aisle trying to picture myself in Hawaii or anywhere that has women without bras. I guess it’s not often that Bra sellers see a disabled guy in a 500 pound chair cruising around. One lady came up to me and asked if I needed help. For a split second, I thought of saying that I have man boobs and that they needed to feel secure in a bra. Instead, I said what many guys have probably told her in the past.

No thanks, I’m waiting for my Wife.

We left the store soon after and headed home.

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Comments
  1. Kate says:

    LOL… yeah, my husband has fallen into the trap of bra-shopping and the inevitable letdown at the reality of it.

    Happily for him, I’m not a good shopper. I go when I need something specific, I buy that thing, and I go home – I don’t browse, and except for a few specific items (books and yarn, mostly) I won’t impulse-buy.

  2. ryanlythall says:

    I’ve always had this idea where guys can walk into the store and be handed an ID badge. It would say something like “I’m here against my will” or something.
    Guys could bond right then and there.

    Either that or be escorted to a lounge in the store. It’d be equipped with a tv, reclinders, etc etc

  3. Kate says:

    And beer. They could charge $15 a bottle and still sell out in minutes.

  4. ryanlythall says:

    I like how you think.

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