Hello Blog Fans
I don’t really feel like talking about current events in my world today. I just feel like rambling. It’s more fun for me, so please bear with me.
Today, I want to talk a bit about what it’s like to be me at times. To me, I can be extremely indecisive and bore easily. For the most part, I’m happy with my life. I have a lovely wife who supports me and loves me very much. I live on my own, which in itself is pretty good considering the severity of my disability. I’m also a Comedian as well.
Ah yes, Comedy.
With each passing month, I find myself less motivated to perform. It’s not because I don’t like performing. Trust me, I like that aspect, and it’s the main reason why I keep returning. The thing that I hate about it more than anything is the politics. Believe it or not, it does exist.
I know that I’m not the funniest person in Ottawa, but some nights, I’m ONE of the funniest there. I’m not sure if that makes sense to anyone, but it does to me. The thing that annoys me are the barriers.
In the past, I’ve explained to great lengths about the fact that I can’t physically get on stage and sometimes the mic isn’t adjusted right. To better illustrate my feelings, I’ll use a visual instead.
The stage is elevated and there’s a big brown brick wall. Every time I go on there, the brick wall’s behind me, but it feels like it’s in front of me. It’s a grim description, but that’s honestly how I feel. I’m known as a person that constantly break down barriers, not only for myself, but others as well. That’s something that I love to do and I take great pride in that. In order for me to do that, I need support and reassurance from my peers and my boss, but it’s simply not there.
I have friends from the National Comedy scene, not local. When those people come to Ottawa, I go see them perform, sometimes as a guest and we sometimes hang out after the show. To me, that’s awesome and it’s another reason that I keep performing. For a little while, I’m seen as someone in the business, despite the barriers that I face and my situation. It’s called respect. I don’t care if it only lasts briefly. I’m just happy that it’s there to begin with. It’s a shame that I don’t get it in my home club, but beggers can’t be choosers.
It is my belief that most of the local Comedians don’t respect me. Hell, most of the time they speak to my Wife or Attendant. Sure, that has to do with the fact that the bar’s noisy, but at least try. I perform six minutes by myself and it’s clear as day that I have a voice and a brain. If Comedians from different parts of Canada can figure this out, why can’t locals do that? Hell, one National guy even incorporated me in his set. Yes, that was and still is a big honour to me that he did that.
The problem lies within the perception of Disabled people. Certain people feel awkward towards us. That will probably never change, no matter what I or any other 4 wheeled creature does. I’m sure even Stephan Hawking deals with that, even though he’s literally famous for explaining the world and how it got started.
I’m running short on time, so I gotta wrap this up. This post wasn’t meant as a pity parade or anything like that. I just simply felt the need to ramble.